"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." -Mark Twain
I never knew this quote was by Mark Twain, but I think its a really meaningful one :)
On the other hand, I'm really tired, and I need some rest.. even though we have threeee tests this week. how true it is when Claudius says "when sorrows come-they come not in single spies- but in battalions". haha though this description (applied to tests!) seems a bit of an exaggeration...
anyhow I am tired I NEED TO CATCH SOME SLEEP!
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
A bit from Fighter, by Christina Aguilera. Not exactly the most melodious song, but just what I need, 'thanks for making me a fighter' :)
I've never felt this way before, i've never felt so helpless, so inadequate and, (insert any other synonym for inadequacy.)
I guess talking things through will help, but other than that, I feel that what I can do is limited, and a lot of it depends on other factors as well. I'm trying to keep it as obscure as possible. And other than this, there are lots of other things that are bugging my mind.
I need some form of reassurance. I need poetry therapy!!!!! ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
de_yi I NEED YOUR BOOK OF HAPPY POEMS :( :(
- Mood:indescribable
<3!
I feel this strange sense of entrapment everytime I come home! Okay before you jump the gun and conclude that it is because of the home/surroundings... I'll have to clarify and say its not. Instead, it is because of the construction that's going on at the estate just opposite my house.. Yes the dreaded construction after the en bloc sale.
Now they've cordoned off the whole area with huge grey pieces of metal and I think the next time I come home, the area will be littered with more debris. :( Every dinner is taken as quick as possible, because I just can't bear such a repugnant sight while having my dinner. I can't imagine having to do this until the construction is over.
And that explains why I've been staying in school all the way into the evening before going home. its a nice feeling though. When you're in the geog room alone/with other people and its all quiet and serene :) Running in the evening (I have run for two days, consecutively! I hope I keep this up. hahah) gives one a sense of... solitude I suppose. When you're running alone especially, and you've got no one else to pace with but yourself. and its only then when you truly understand what it means when people say that the mind really pushes you on; it does. I hope I keep this up because the evening breeze is really cooling, and the track/scenery is pretty then.
Its a wonder how appreciating little things in life pushes you on, really :)
- Mood:
content
September
We sit late, watching the dark slowly unfold:
No clock counts this.
When kisses are repeated and the arms hold
There is no telling where time is.
It is midsummer: the leaves hang big and still:
Behind the eye a star,
Under the silk of the wrist a sea, tell
Time is nowhere.
We stand; leaves have not timed the summer.
No clock now needs
Tell we have only what we remember:
Minutes uproaring with our heads
Like an unfortunate King's and his Queen's
When the senseless mob rules;
And quietly the trees casting their crowns
Into the pools.
Ted Hughes
This is so calming, need I say more :)Haha I don't normally post in the morning, but I'm really really tired >< I HAVE NO IDEA WHY cos I slept really early yesterday. I guess my threshold for fatigue is decreasing by the day. I can't concentrate on studying for geog test tomorrow :(
but. Today morning was one of the rare times where I woke up early to take a walk. It used to be a routine in the past... But I haven't been waking up early in a long while. So waking up at 6.50 today morning was quite a task! Nevertheless, it paid off, cos I saw the sky, post-sunrise. well sometimes its sad that we don't live in the countrysides.. where the scenery is truly picturesque and there aren't any buildings blocking it. but this morning I saw the pretty sky, in a tinge of light orange against the light blue background, and that made me happy :) But it was ephemeral; by the time my parents and I went out to walk, the different hues in the sky had already been overtaken by a majestic blue.
I love morning strolls actually :) but I hate it when the cars go past and I have to try to hold my breath to avoid taking in the polluted air. And of course the sounds that just destroy the tranquility of a morning stroll. But that aside. I love the weather in the morning, that light cooling effect and the soft caresses of the wind on your face. :) We took a really long while to get to our destination but the trees and greenery compensated for it.
If only there weren't cars, I guess I'd have been very contented. nonetheless, what is more fulfilling than waking up early in the morning to the pretty sky and taking a walk alongside trees and more trees? :)
on the other hand, I must say this week has been quite fun preparing for SATs with crazy classmates. :) haha. that includes the part on ostentatious word usage; and comforting one another when we don't get a full score on each of the sections or something. this week has been a week of discovering little things that I appreciate- an encouragement note, a birthday celebration with old friends, studying with classmates, car talks with my parents, and good music :)
I can't wait for tomorrow to end :)
Super tired !!! :( Ohmy I HATE SATS TOOOO. to think i'm taking it next weekend!
On the other hand, the pictures from the Haiti earthquake are disturbing. This morning, I had breakfast with the newspaper cover splashed with a picture of a woman in the aftermath of the earthquake- her face covered with a mixture of debris and blood, her eyes- so full of fatigue yet empty of hope, the remnants around her tell a story of a house so badly shattered that it is beyond recognition.
Its really sad that natural disasters just happen without warning, impede progress, and people have to reconstruct their infrastructure once again, with their already dwindling funds.
I can only hope that the survivors of the earthquake find the courage to live- because without courage, the gift of life is worthless, isn't it?
As this goes on, it doesn't really help that the house beside mine is being torn down because of the en bloc sale. I hate it when I hear sounds of destruction- the glass windows breaking, the house being torn apart literally. I hate it when it rains as it goes on. No more pitter patter of rain drops, washing away the debris and remnants- just sounds of destruction. And to know that its all deliberate indeed. (While people in Haiti are homeless, because their homes have been destructed by an earthquake.) To know that the scenery will be changed forever, one of these weeks I can probably see the greenery of the grass patch for once, but the next day it'll be filled with bulldozers and cranes and whatever machinery that is essential in building a house. I hate destruction.
- Mood:
tired
HEH I've never felt so happy about fridays, for so long. haha this must be one of the rare occasions when the prospects of the week ending makes me feel excited.
( the last week! )
My sister's back in Uk AND ITS SUPER FREEZING COLD. Haha I do hope she's alright though and doesn't fall sick a week before her examinations. that day when she left, I went to the airport to send her, and had to leave early for work. She walked me to the MRT, and that was the last time I'd hug her until six months when she returns. it feels surreal though. That she's only going to be back in six months, and I'll be waking up in the morning without her beside me for quite a while. And she won't be there during the casual gossip sessions that my mum and her and I frequently indulge in. :(
1. Super tired of finding ways to spend time in the office, after reading incomprehensible documents
2. Today was a day of waiting to rush, and rushing to wait, really. Lunch was nothing more than hastily gobbled up sandwiches and a raspberry muffin at Dome (while watching the time minute by minute) the waitress probably thought i was crazy, ordering a take away to eat in.
3. (i'm honestly not so sure what i want to do in future at this point in time)
4. I MISS MY FRIENDS . :( A LOT! I really wish I were at chalet and actually staying there (instead of rushing off at 8).. we'd have so much fun.
5. ahhhh doesn't help that i have to persist all the way till Friday.
6. I still have a Math Test to prepare for
7. Can't wait for school to reopen, honestly.
8. My sister's going back tomorrow, for six months. :(
A whole new year, once more :)
I spent the last day of 2009 fruitfully, haha with my fav people <3. We celebrated Lorraine's birthday at Seoul Garden, Taka!(: Food was pretty good, there was a variety of food to choose from. BUT I hated the cooking part!! Hates how the hot water/oil thing spews out and stings your hand. Hahah I wonder how I'll learn to cook in future. anww haha we had a lot of fooood. :D followed by bday cake, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LORRAINE:D walked around kino a bit, before going home! haha.
at night, quin and i went to watch fireworks in town :D haha we met and had cheesecakeeee at TCC. (: Was so full after that, but it was so good:D. we were supposed to go to esplanade waterfront but it was so full that the road was blocked! We watched from opposite, around One Raffles Link after that. hahah we totally forgot to countdown cos we were listening to alvamar, swinging (i almost typed singing!) the zebra and all! by the time we realised it was about 12 am, people started to cheer and we watched pretty fireworks from opposite :) :) Then the phone networks got jammed up and i couldn't send msges quickly enough haha.
Today was a good day. I cleared my room!(: haha. To get rid of all the old stuff that we don't ever use. found old appassionata CDs!!! And old letters and all. :) hahaha then my sister and i had a good laugh at her old CDs and whatever we used to like to listen to, and watch... like meteor garden. Those days when we were crazy over F4!! hahaha. and then we found nice childhood photos :) :) cleared the cupboard as well. threw many many things away. :D haha. it feels good actually. to rid the room of everything old and stuff that we'll never use again. or just... possessions that are too embarrassing.
after that we had lunch gathering :D talked and laughed all the way until 4 i love my super-funny-aunties and adorable cousins. :D haha. it was a great new year's day for me :)
This is a new year and I'm glad it started out right :) having my friends and family around really makes me count my blessings. (:
- Mood: happy
The last post for the year.. Well. I don't know where to start actually, but a lot has happened this year. Good and bad, ups and downs... But I'm really glad I've experienced many good things and I'm really looking forward to 2010.
Many great things have happened this year. I'm glad I made new friends, and got to know many people better. They are the people whom I really have to thank... without them I wouldn't have pushed through this year. (: They are the ones who really add laughter to your day and spice up your life! Like, the retarded ninjazzz (: and quinnnnn!! I heart you <3
Apart from band, making new friends in class wasn't easy initially, but I'm glad to have found awesome people in class to talk to and to study with (: haha. I hope next year will be a great year for all of us, and may we have the perseverance to study hard all the way to A Levels :D
something else great that happened would be joining band. (: haha. Recalling a year back... I was initially rather reluctant to join band, because I wasn't sure that I wanted to join the same CCA that I have been in for 4 years. No doubt, it was a great experience, but part of me wanted to try something new... Well, but I guess everyone has some place where they belong, and for me, it was band. (:
One year in HC Band has been a great journey for me so far. Working towards SYF was really tiring, but it bonded us, and I made new friends through that experience. It bonded us a lot- talking about our aspirations for SYF, pushing each other on... or simply chilling out at KAP after tiring practices that lasted into the evening. We worked really hard towards it, and the gold was certainly well deserved. HCImpressione was also a memorable concert, where we had fun doing the gimmicks, and playing nice pieces!(: (Orient Express, Jap Graff, Xinyao :D) it was also a memorable birthday for me and i'll never forget that day where we really had lots of fun! :D Thailand was great too. (: not just learning new techniques from the band, but the rest of the stuff we did- Dreamworld, A lot of shopping, night parties. (:
Family wise, I really appreciate the fact that I have a close knitted family. Parents whom I can tell almost anything to, siblings who are fun to be with, and grandparents who are really caring and cook nice food for us . ((: haha. honestly, without my mum, i wouldn't have been able to pull through the year. She is the person whom I go to whenever I feel like something has gone wrong in my life... and she's always willing to listen so I love her for that (:
I haven't set any 2010 resolutions yet... But all I can hope for is that next year will be great, and even better than this year! :D I already have a reallly nice planner, so I guess i'll just plan everything there. I'm looking forward to Capriccio (ALREADY!), probable graduation trip!... and graduating after A Levels. ((:
Happy new year everyone, have a good 2010!(:
I'm back from Japan! :) haha. Japan was awesome. I loved the snow, the scenery was spectacular. :) and I admire the fact that the Japanese preserve a lot of their culture despite their rapid development. Also, I was impressed by their customer service.. High standards that I wouldn't expect in Singapore. and the food, oh the food:D haha. I loved the japanese rice !! :) And a lot of nice sweet stuff.. and Udon! :) Sashimi :) Haha and of course it was fun being with my family :D:D Loved talking to my siblings cos we come up with the lamest stuff everrr.
and now its back to reality. haha no more nice breakfast buffet, nice scenery, ONSENS (hot springs)!!!!!. Its back to work and a whole new year awaits.
heh i'll get bai se lian rens!! ((: For everyone who's a fan of the delicious yummy white chocolate cookie. :D
Today I felt really at home, probably because its the end of year already.. My parents are coming home from work much earlier than they do normally. My dad used to be really really busy, he'd come home around 10 plus in the past; my mum around 8 .. and we seldom have a chance to have dinner together, unless its a rare occassion where they come home around 7 plus. Nowadays, they come home much earlier, around 6-7. Hence, having dinner together has become more common and less of a rarity. And its something I really like, when I see my parents back home early... My younger siblings negotiating over who should make tea for my dad / carry my dad's stuff when he drives up to the doorstep. And then having dinner together is a wonderful thing, because we talk about stuff that happens throughout the day, or just random memories... and start laughing about it. ((: Its a really great feeling.
Hah and certainly an evening stroll with my dad to the nearby grocery store to get stamps to mail out those xmas cards was another rarity. it felt so, serene. to a certain extent surreal... (: And then, i talked to my dad about work life balance and stuff (hahaha) and attempted to convince him to continue coming home at earthly hours nxt year (:
And it being the eve of winter solstice, we did the usual... To make tang yuans (glutinous rice ball) together! Its certainly a homely feeling when you press the warm, soft dough (: and roll them to make tang yuans. Hah and my younger siblings being creative and innovative and all, decided to stuff random fillings into the tang yuan.. In the end, my younger sis almost died from eating tangyuan filled with super hot chilli! But it was fun anyway, we all laughed (:
Hence, the homely feeling as I lie on my bed, typing on this laptop and listening to Crush by David Archuleta (yes i've finally updated my playlist!).
Its a nice feeling, I've never felt more at home ((:
- Mood:HOMEHOMEHOME:D
Life has been quite gooood. ((: Haha partial ninjazszs outing with quin, gt and sweechen yesterday (cos we missed each other a lot) to watch couples retreat, which was super gross >< not a nice show to watch! haha made us squirm in our seats half the time. chilled out a bit at gloria jean's after that. Haha too bad, had to leave early >< Gt's oreo cheesecake reminded me of our cheesecake party I MISS SECRET RECIPE CHEEESECAKE ): ): ): c
Today was a happy day! (: haha. woke up to dimsummm:D. dinner was steamboat with elise and deyi! haha partial aunties outing, cos karen couldn't make it >< busy karen! haha. anw deyi and i spent 40 minutes looking for liangseah street at bugis, super fail >< we walked one whole round before finding the place. we had fun talking about everything (AS USUAL) haha and eating a lot, a lot! felt super super full after our meal. It was great seeing the two of them after a long while!
kayy BFF's flying offf soon ): HAVE FUN IN CHINA YES. Haha take care!!<3.
So I'm back from Bangkok ! (: I had A LOT of fun laughing with the crazy girlsss hahaha. I'll never forget all the camwhoring, laughing at sweechen's retarded antics, first time taking scary rides at Dreamworld (cos I was ambushed), cheesecake party and basically all the fun we had :D:D Love yall lotsszxzz.
Haha i'll upload photos on facebook later :D but for now.. 
ninjas speak/hear/see no evil shot. BFF I LOVE YOU (and your awesome cool shades). The girlss at dreamworld :D:D
miss yall already!!! <333 KBOX OUTING SOON PLEASE:D:D
- Mood: happy
okay i need to go and packkkk i haven't finished packing yet!
- Mood: excited
